As my introverted friends ecstatically prepare for ‘lock-down’ discussing jigsaw puzzles, books, solo projects, and . . . . nothingness (????) I’m loudly (extrovertedly) hyperventilating into a brown paper bag.
What do you mean “it’s ok not to see anyone for 3 months days” – I will be rocking back and forth in a corner after 3 days! What do you mean “we have each other” – I need another 10 people minimum! And different ones, every day! What do you mean “wouldn’t this be great if we could lock ourselves away for ever” – WHAT????!!! Are you insane!!!!!
Yup, for us extroverts – Shit Just Got Real!! Here’s my survival guide for extroverts attempting to live in this newly formed introverted world:
- New friends are everywhere - Pretend plants and pets are people, enjoy boundless discussions with your new friends. The upside is they will all be amazing listeners!
- Visual cues - Smear Vaseline onto an old set of glasses and shake your head slightly from side to side (add vodka here) – this blurs the visual of one person into 3!
- Turn it up! - Music, radio, loud noises of any kind
- Netflix – Netflix is EVERYONE’s friend, it won’t let me down now!
- Good luck to any introvert hoping to extract themselves from a conversation saying they have “somewhere else to be”. Nope, not gonna happen . . . .
- Learn a new skill – one which doesn’t involve talking (don’t ask me what it is but I hope they exist!)
- Wait for someone to admit it’s a hideous joke and hand the ‘Keys of Humanity’ back to the extroverted socialising experts . . .
What I would like to share with my introverted friends - "No introverts, 2 people don’t create a ‘group’ . . . . . ."
Those of you who know me will know I have an obsessive admiration of the leadership qualities of introverts. The amazing level of focus, quiet determination, external calmness and leading side by side introverts demonstrate has my utmost respect. Really hoping I can tap into some of these strengths over the coming months so I can eventually put that brown paper bag aside and start breathing normally. However, I'm accepting that it's going to be a rocky road - for myself and my family members who will be bearing the brunt of my 'journey'.
The final say needs to be these pearls of wisdom from my introverted partner: “ Please check on us introverts who are married to extroverts and are now stuck in the house with them. We are not okay. . . .”